Winning Recipes & Laughs

Winning Recipes & Laughs

Long Ago…

The Divorce Diet Cookbook: Comfort Cuisine for the Broken-Hearted, traveled a long and winding road to publication, and now winning awards. It began with a novel I wrote back in the early 2000s called The Divorce Diet. I dropped the ball on that novel—a long story involving agents, and more agent stress down the line which will be canvassed below—and it sat on my hard drive sulking for years. Doing a cookbook derived from that novel was always a plan, but that languished as well.

The Divorce Diet novel continues to collect metaphorical dust taking up space in digital backwaters. But I moved forward on the The Divorce Diet Cookbook, creating funny comics from the text of the novel. I had been illustrating professionally for more years than I care to mention, and this part of the endeavor was up my alley, but I could not face the task of coming up with actual recipes, making them, testing them, and successfully pulling all that off with the aplomb and expertise required. Then…in 2011, I reconnected with a friend—Jennifer Sylvester, my coauthor—and voila! a masterful cook, writer, and overall talented gal agreed to create all the recipes!

Jennifer was superb. She came up with amazing, delicious recipes and humorous descriptions—so easy to work with in assembling, what I term, a comic cookbook. There was just one more thing that we deemed necessary—outstanding photos of the dishes created.

As I stated previously, I am an illustrator. Back in my advertising illustrating days, I art directed many food photoshoots based on my own layouts. I know how these things work—and they aren’t easy. I worked with the best photographers who had the best equipment and studios, and professional food stylists. To get one good shot usually took an entire day. Add to this that I am a perfectionist, and doing the photography for The Divorce Diet Cookbook was causing all kinds of anxiety.

I have done my own photography for several art-instruction books I authored, published by Walter Foster. I had equipment, lighting, and all the gadgets to photograph my own projects with props, and step instructions. But to photograph food, and make it look as delicious and inviting as it actually is, with all the right props and backgrounds, was daunting. We would also need to create or rent a suitable kitchen that would match the tone of the book.

In spite of not having yet produced the necessary photography, we still had the manuscript, the recipes, and the comics. So we solicited agents to represent our project. Either we would be kicked into gear and produce the photos ourselves, or we would hire someone to do it when a publisher agreed to sign us. We compiled a list of well-established NY and vicinity agents, based on their preferences, and picked up a literary agent/agency. So far, so good.

An Unexpected Detour

The agent also took on a new novel I had written, Cottage Cheese Thighs which became How to Rate a Soulmate. (This is also a convoluted story as I really liked the original title, but after some negative feedback I caved and sent out a questionnaire with some new options.) *sigh* Why did I cave?

Months passed, but I knew the drill and warned Jennifer that it could be a while. Every so often we got what I thought was a very anemic report. The last time we tried to contact our agent (I’ll call her Sally), there was no response. When we finally reached out to the owner of the agency she told us that Sally didn’t work there and had disappeared. We could not locate her at all. Apparently she was abducted by aliens or in witness protection or…who knows? 😛

This put a bit of a damper on the whole endeavor. (That’s a joke people.) We were shocked, flummoxed, pissed, and our heads were exploding, ready to track that bee-otch down for wasting our time!

So now what? The agent debacle seriously took the wind out of our sails and left us drifting in a sea of WTF. Years went by.

Every so often I desultorily tried to summon the motivation to get together with Jennifer, make the recipes, photograph them, and begin again. But the motivation just wasn’t there.

A Revelation

Until, one day, I woke up with the thought in my head, Why not just leave the photos out? Though all the recipes are legitimate, awesome, and integral to the process of getting through a tough time, the underlying concept is really about healing from divorce and breakups. This finally motivated me.

I really did not want to go through the process of finding another agent and submitting to their process of finding a publisher. I thought, I’ll just self-publish this book, easily done on KDP. The purpose of the book is to help the grieving, the hurt, the depressed, the dumped! with a little laughter, commiseration, and super-easy comfort sustenance. It’s helping no one sitting here on my hard drive.

After editing and more editing, I self-published our comic cookbook on Amazon KDP mid 2023. Finally, it manifested into the real world and out of the black hole of unpublished books. It may be destined to wallow in the wasteland of unadvertised Amazon books millions strong, but the idea was to just get it out there. Maybe we can reach a few people in need.

It pretty much stayed in the Amazon wasteland.

And the Craziness Continued

Thinking it would be a long shot—a comic cookbook is a mashup and certainly not traditional in either cookbooks or humor—I entered The Divorce Diet Cookbook in two categories of the Royal Dragonfly Book Awards. The winners were to be announced the last week in November 2024. I also entered a children’s activity book and used a different email address for that entry. November passed and no emails.

It didn’t surprise me regarding The Divorce Diet Cook, but I was surprised regarding the activity book—a genre in which I am accomplished. So I checked into the website for a list of the winners to see what books beat me out. WEEKS went by and finally they posted a list of the winners.

And there was The Divorce Diet Cookbook, placing in both categories I entered it in. And, my activity book was there as well.

So, after weeks of speculating how far out of touch I am with current trends, popular culture, and what may or may not be relevant in media, I’m like, WTF! Was it a random anomaly that BOTH my email accounts did not get the notification of winners, or, was the universe trying to tell me something? When I got in touch with the contest contact person she said it was an issue with the email service, that a few other winners had not gotten the notification. But still, both of my email addresses went awry in the contactee queue? We humans just can’t resist the impulse to recognize patterns, so randomness does not sit well.

And how far does speculation get you when you know there is just no way you will ever know something like the thoughts of the universe?

Lesson Learned

Whatever that is. Maybe something like: Nothing is ever as it seems, or some other amorphous assemblage of words alluding to mystery masquerading as a truism.

I only know that I am grateful for the accolades, my coauthor, and a world in which comedy can heal and determination will out.

D. L. Fisher, January 2025

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recipes for the Broken-Hearted

Recipes for the Broken-Hearted

Dumped, Divorced, Rejected?

If you’re looking for way to mitigate the depression, wailing, and general malaise after being dumped, this comic cookbook is for you (or for your friend shuffling around the house in wrinkled pajamas and Einstein hair). The “Comfort Cuisine” recipes are awesome (they take very little effort of course, and were created to release much-needed endorphins), and the comics will make you laugh—or at least crack a tiny smirk—even if the determination not to smile is carved into your battered (and fried) heart.

divorce comic

This cookbook was born out of a trunk novel I wrote so long ago I don’t want to say, lest you figure out how old I actually am. The novel was “The Divorce Diet” and I left it languishing in the dark mists of projects that took the winding road to nowhere. Writing a cookbook was part of my marketing plan for the novel, but I am not a cook who measures anything—I just throw stuff together and that my friends does not a chef make. So the cookbook idea languished as well, until I reconnected with my friend, Jennifer, who happened to be the cook extraordinaire capable of creating delicious, funny, and inspirational recipes (with actual instructions).

So between us—Jennifer’s brilliant recipes and my comics—we cobbled the book together. Then we got sidetracked with a NY agent who petered out to the point that she disappeared from the agency, and we were left—yes, once again—languishing.

Years go by…and I finally thought, WTF? This comic cookbook—meant to be a balm to the broken-hearted husks out there just trying to get through the day (and the nightmarish nights)—is not doing anyone any good buried in my hard drive. So I determined to get the book published myself. And I FINALLY did.

divorce comic

Don’t Leave the Planet Without Putting Yourself and Your Creations Out There

My message to you, my writer friends, and all creative people, is to publish everything close to your heart. Leave a legacy. Don’t let the abysmal state of the current publishing industry deter you from putting yourself out there. There WILL be someone or many someones who need, commiserate with, and appreciate your works. You may make someone’s day even if it is one person.

Self-publishing makes it easy. You don’t have to make money from your book, or do any marketing. Just make sure you don’t die with a hard drive full of you and your important thoughts and creations. 🙂

divorce diet cookbook

Click the image to get the book

 

D. L. Fisher is an award-winning author of romantic comedy, quirky fiction, short stories, nonfiction, and an award-winning artist and illustrator.

Why Daydreaming Is Important for Writers

Why Daydreaming Is Important for Writers

Are Daydreamers Smarter?

“I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.”—Albert Einstein

Traditionally, daydreamers were thought to be distracted, inattentive time-wasters. Not to mention, indolent, apathetic sloths.

But a scientific study done by a team of researchers at Georgia Institute of Technology indicates otherwise. Their findings suggest that people who regularly daydream have higher intellectual and creative abilities than those who don’t regularly daydream.

“People tend to think of mind wandering as something that is bad. You try to pay attention and you can’t,” said Eric Schumacher, the Georgia Tech associate psychology professor who co-authored the study. “Our data are consistent with the idea that this isn’t always true. Some people have more efficient brains. People with efficient brains may have too much brain capacity to stop their minds from wandering.”

The researchers discovered that the participants who reported more frequent daydreaming scored higher on intellectual and creative ability and had “more efficient” brain systems as measured by an MRI, compared to those who daydreamed less often.

This blows the whole idea of daydreamers as sloths right out of the water.

When the Magic Happens

“Remember: Plot is no more than footprints left in the snow after your characters have run by on their way to incredible destinations.”—Ray Bradbury

Do you get ideas while in the shower, doing the dishes, on the treadmill, talking to someone? This may be your “more efficient” brain at work.

When you’re in the groove writing, and you’ve lost a sense of time and space—something all artists experience—you are receptive. You have reached the theta state—brain waves generated when floating in between sleeping and waking, daydreaming, and when you have left the normal world behind for the inexplicable world of creativity.

According to an article in Scientific American, “Individuals who do a lot of freeway driving often get good ideas during those periods when they are in theta. Individuals who run outdoors often are in the state of mental relaxation that is slower than alpha and when in theta, they are prone to a flow of ideas. This can also occur in the shower or tub or even while shaving or brushing your hair. It is a state where tasks become so automatic that you can mentally disengage from them. The ideation that can take place during the theta state is often free flow and occurs without censorship or guilt. It is typically a very positive mental state.”

Couple this general human tendency to channel ideas during theta states with those who frequently daydream, and wham, you’ve got a creative powerhouse.

Daydreaming is vital to formulating a story for some writers. Even those who have a logical, linear approach to writing—research, character development, outline, first draft, edit, etc.— must start with an idea. And great ideas generally seem to arise out of nowhere, or as a result of meandering thought rather than logical thinking.

Magic happens when you are in that theta state of free-flowing ideation. Consider how characters can sometimes seem to come alive. Many authors report this phenomenon—their characters roaming about the room, telling the author what to write, speaking for themselves. How often do your books and stories morph as they develop, breaking the boundaries of an outline or a planned ending? These evolutions take place not necessarily because you thought the changes out, but because some confluence of seemingly unrelated things in your story somehow coalesces and leads the characters and plot in new directions.

As a writer, it is essential to tap this well of possibilities, ideas, out-of-the-box thoughts, and creative power.

So, Armed with an Empirically Sound Excuse to Daydream…

beautiful young woman daydreamingRelax, sit back, and daydream away.

To be clear, I’m not referring to daydreaming about your date last night while you’re negotiating rush-hour traffic on a six-lane city street.

As a writer, daydreaming is just part of the creative process, a door that opens to possibilities. You must allow yourself the freedom to engage in the creative process without guilt—wherever that takes you. This is not to say you should ignore responsibility. But don’t ignore the magical, ineffable, intangible realms either, that you gain entry to when daydreaming.

The first thing to do is:

Kick Society’s Pithy Proverbs and Ever-Changing Rules to the Curb (Where They belong)

“As far as I’m concerned, the entire reason for becoming a writer is not having to get up in the morning.”—Neil Gaiman

Let’s take a look at a few oft-repeated sayings that pretend to be indisputable truth:

  • “The early bird gets the worm.” This may be true for some birds, but my uncle had to go out late at night to collect “night crawlers” (earthworms) for fish bait.
  • “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.” And yet, consider what happened to the citizens of Troy who failed to inspect the Trojan Horse.
  • “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise,” sounds like propaganda for low-paid employees working in unhealthy factory conditions.

Poking holes in the accepted ways of things is a first step to freeing yourself from stagnancy, limitation, ordinariness, invisibility.

Don’t buy into societal and cultural dictates about how to live your life, go about your day, when to go to bed or when to get up. Summon the courage to make your own rules. What you need to remember is that at any given point in time, the rules of society change according to external factors, fears, and judgments. There is also the herd mentality to consider—those who “don’t fit in” are shunned or scoffed at—which is based on fear and inhibits creativity.

If you don’t fit In, dear writers, you are in good company. To name a few (among many throughout history) who flew outside the human flock, consider: Pablo Picasso, though extraordinarily skilled in traditional naturalistic painting as an adolescent, turned away from tradition to pioneer cubism and other forms of experimental art; author Truman Capote broke the mold with a new genre he labeled “nonfiction novel” with his book, “In Cold Blood,” the 2nd-bestselling true crime book in history; Socrates, the famous philosopher and inventor of the Socratic method, was unfortunately executed for “corrupting the minds of the youth of Athens and of not believing in the gods of the state” (so much for the wisdom of public opinion and societal rules).

Luckily in this century, at least in most civilized countries, those who don’t fit in are not put to death as Socrates was. The evidence is overwhelming throughout history that the rebels who disregard society’s ephemeral dictates of how to live are the ones who shape progress.

Don’t Miss Out on the Magic

“Develop a thick skin when it comes to judgments from others regarding your work as a writer. All this takes is to remind yourself time and time again that you are following your dreams. There is little that is more important in life than that.”—excerpt from my self-help book, How to Write and Stay Healthy

Pay attention to those crazy thoughts and ideas you get when you are zoning out or buttering a piece of toast. Drift a little before getting out of bed to take advantage of the receptive state between sleep and wakefulness. Embrace silence and solitude.

Daydreaming is important, just as thinking, dreaming, learning, and all the other possible functions of the mind and brain are. Writers generally daydream frequently, putting them squarely in the category of those with higher intelligence and creativity.

As a writer, daydreaming is part of your job.

D. L. Fisher is an award-winning author of romantic comedy, quirky fiction, short stories, nonfiction, and an award-winning artist and illustrator.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be a Healthy Writer

Be a Healthy Writer

Has it ever dawned on you suddenly—

that you’ve been staring at your computer screen for ages? That your neck is crunched, your back is aching, your tush is squashed, and your eyes are bloodshot? Join the writers club.

Writers have particular challenges when it comes to health—both physically and mentally. Let’s address some of them.

Working at Home

Not having to go to a 9-5 job is fantabulous. But when your workspace is in your home, you need boundaries, and that is not an easy thing to establish with family, housemates, or friends. Most people just won’t get it because they have no experience doing it.

It’s up to you to set your own rules and boundaries and maintain them. And it can be done. I have worked at home for decades, first as an illustrator, then as a writer. My first years as an illustrator were in advertising and the deadlines were always crazy—especially newspaper deadlines (this was in the 80s when newspapers were printed :-P). With deadlines continually looming, I was forced to optimize my time, space, and attitude in every way I could.

The first thing you’ve got to do is:

Develop a thick skin when it comes to judgments from others regarding your work as a writer. All this takes is to remind yourself time and time again that you are following your dreams. There is little that is more important in life than that.

If you sleep late because you write late into the night, don’t bother trying to defend your schedule to people who can’t think outside the box of “the early bird catches the worm” mindset (almost everybody).

How to Write and Stay Healthy: For Cave-Dwelling Authors & Other Keen Writers

Accept that no one may understand, and don’t blame them for it. Writing is a nebulous job to those who haven’t gone through the process of completing a whole book. You may be at it for months or even years until you have a finished product to show for all that time. It may seem to others that you’re just having fun writing—you are!—but the work has to get done and that won’t happen unless you set rules, maintain boundaries, and learn to say NO.

If you have trouble saying no, try this:

For one week, say no to everything (within reason). You can use the excuse that you are doing an exercise, if this is too uncomfortable. Blame it on a book you’re reading (this one!). The point of this exercise is to experience how it feels. By saying “no,” you will feel the relief from certain things you really did not want, or have the time, to do. This will jumpstart your ability to make good time-management decisions without emotional responses.

How to Write and Stay Healthy: For Cave-Dwelling Authors & Other Keen Writers

Motivating Yourself

It’s so easy to find excuses not to write (much like the excuses not to exercise :-P).

As a writer creating a product out of thin air, you must push yourself to finish that book! This takes commitment and discipline. You’ve got to kick your own self in the butt, and be your own motivator.

Don’t let snarky opinions or bad reviews stop you from continuing. And don’t wait for good responses to keep you motivated. On the other hand, be open to constructive criticism. If a beta reader makes a suggestion or raises a question, DON’T DEFEND YOUR WRITING. Listen. Make notes. You don’t have to change anything, but you may want to if, after consideration, it feels right. The key is: 

Detachment and Self-Honesty

How to Write and Stay Healthy: For Cave-Dwelling Authors & Other Keen Writers

Your All-Important Eyes

Unless you’re writing anachronistically by hand or on a typewriter, your eyes are glued to a screen when you write. The official term for too much screen time is Computer Vision Syndrome, popularly known as digital eye strain.

There is a lot you can do to ease the strain on your eyes as a writer. Here’s one tip:

Write, BLINK, on a sticky note and attach it to your computer, laptop, or whatever device you write on. The number one reason for eye irritation, according to my own easy-on-the-eyes eye doctor, is not blinking enough.

How to Write and Stay Healthy: For Cave-Dwelling Authors & Other Keen Writers

Overworked Hands, Fingers, and Wrists

When you write, you engage in repetitive motions, and hold your arms, hands and fingers in certain positions for long periods, whether you’re on a keyboard, touchscreen, or old-fashioned typewriter.

There are great stretches, tendon (self)-massage, and office adjustments that will help those overworked fingers, wrists, and forearms. Here’s one easy stretch:

Reach for the stars.

Lift your hands over your head—without lifting your shoulders and pulling them out of their sockets—to increase circulation and get any pooled blood to move and flow out of your hands.

This opens up your chest area and it feels great to take a deep breath while doing this.

How to Write and Stay Healthy: For Cave-Dwelling Authors & Other Keen Writers

Sitting on Your Tush

I call it “squash bottom.” You’re probably sitting on your tush now, squashing the muscles, fat, blood vessels, nerves, and corpuscles like sandwich ingredients in a panini press.

Do you feel it?

One tip for squash bottom:

Get up every once in a while and walk around the room, house, down the hall and back. Just move around a bit and kick your circulation back into gear.

A great time to do this is when you get stuck on a word, idea, sentence, whatever. It usually happens that a short stroll around the house gives you fresh eyes on the matter.

How to Write and Stay Healthy: For Cave-Dwelling Authors & Other Keen Writers

Squeeze Every Last Drop of Happy Juice out of Life

If you want to write to your heart’s content and feel great while doing it, How to Write and Stay Healthy: For Cave-Dwelling Authors & Other Keen Writers is full of actionable stradegies and practical solutions to the challenges of working at home as a writer.

A whole chapter is devoted to “Exercise Without Exercising.” It’s a way of going about your day in a different way—something I developed when I first started martial arts training. (I now hold two advanced-degree black belts.)

There are tips and insights in How to Write and Stay Healthy you will only get from a veteran freelancer like me, who has always been determined to stay out of the mainstream workplace and live a healthy lifestyle.

Happy writing!

write and stay healthy book cover

 

Reviews:

“I loved this book! A quick read full of great practical information for staying healthy and dynamic as a writer. A gem for both new and seasoned writers!”–Kelly Larsen, author of Keys to Unlocking Your Inner Power

“Fisher nails the often-overlooked physically taxing part of writing with practical and–most importantly–actionable strategies that any author can apply and every author needs. Sprinkled with poignant quotations from literary greats and infused with a healthy dose of humor, every chapter of this book provided me with sound advice that I continue to practice on a daily basis. How to Write and Stay Healthy is a must for every writer!”–Mark Plets, author of Business ESL Made Easy

“It’s a quick read, entertaining, and full of helpful suggestions, with actual examples of what to do and how to avoid the inevitable stumbling blocks. Highly recommended for anyone who sits in front of a computer all day, and not just writers.”–K. Z. Kane, author of Blindfolded: A True Story

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Different Ways to Write Fiction

Different Ways to Write Fiction

“John Irving once told me he doesn’t start a novel until he knows the last sentence. I said, ‘My God, Irving, isn’t that like working in a factory?'”—Tom Robbins

There are probably as many different ways to write fiction as there are novels on Amazon.

SOME FICTION AUTHORS write with structured outlines and in-depth character analyses, knowing exactly how the novel will end. This is a logical and practical way to work through a story. Some very successful indie authors write formulaic genre novels they know readers want because that’s what is trending. It’s possible to achieve high sales and make a good living writing for the market.

Some authors start with an idea and let stream of consciousness take them on a ride. Even though they might begin with a protagonist in mind, without the tight reins of a planned-out story, that protagonist will undoubtedly develop a unique personality as though she is writing herself and her own dialogue. Secondary characters crop up and insert themselves, veering off on their own colorful tangents. Really surprising scenes appear. The ending always changes, or isn’t thought of at all, and it somehow connects invisible threads in the story. Such a writer will feel he or she isn’t writing at all—just watching as the story unfolds by itself.

There are countless mashups in-between.

“You can’t blame a writer for what the characters say.”―Truman Capote

I don’t mean to suggest that writing a novel is easy, however it’s done—it’s not. Rewrites and edits and changing things up that don’t fit and days when the muse is absent can be challenging, hard work, sometimes agonizing and even painful. You might be floating on pink, puffy clouds sipping nectar-of-the-gods one day and slogging through mud in flip-flops the next. Yes, it can be what normal people call work, but crazy authors call bliss.

“Don’t ever write a novel unless it hurts like a hot turd coming out.”—Charles Bukowski

What I’m getting at here—and this is the juicy bit—is there is magic in writing. No matter how structured you like to be when writing that novel, and even if you’re writing genre fiction for a specific demographic at a specific point in time when this or that is trending—it doesn’t mean you can’t let a little magic into the mix.

Don’t Choke out the Magic

Leave a door or two open for the muse to waltz in, take hold of your story and shake it up a little. So you took a side road from your outline, you added a bit that goes against the popular grain, a character pops up you hadn’t planned for—let it flow. You can always slash it later. Generally, with novels, there should be a good deal of merciless slashing in the rewrite phase. But in the first draft, let writing be loose and inclusive, not tight and exclusive. You can still work from an outline, still follow your plan, still write for the market, but don’t forget that you are you—and you have a uniqueness that needs a little room to stretch and express itself.

“Writing is magic, as much the water of life as any other creative art. The water is free. So drink. Drink and be filled up.”―Stephen King

On the other hand, it’s all good. Okay, so you don’t want to take chances on risky adventures into the labyrinths of the imagination, when you have a deadline, bills to pay, marketing to do, a book to finish. I get it.

In fact, I have a twinge of envy for indie authors who can keep pumping out books for the trending market. Though I must add a caveat here and express my absolute loathing for the romance “billionaire” genre. Aside from the absurdity of it, and the fact that it was born out of that hurl-it-against-the-wall book—Fifty Shades of Stupid, or something like that—I feel it’s the epitome of selling out as a writer.

No offense to anyone capitalizing off that massively successful, massively horrid set of “billionaire” books, and you’re probably laughing at me all the way to the bank, because from a business standpoint it’s smart.

“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”―Cyril Connolly

Okay, so that was a bit harsh Cyril. Because we all should do whatever the heck we want in this life. There is no right or wrong way. What works for me does not necessarily work for someone else. And it’s completely unique in every case.

Writing a novel can be a deliciously rich experience—full of surprise, pain, elation, love, hate, illumination, self-discovery, excitement, frustration, challenges up the wazoo, and a host of other descriptors. It just depends on how crazy you want to get. Personally, I like to get as crazy as possible, and being structured gets in my way.

Whatever you choose to do in your writing, I will leave you with the wise words of one damn sexy dude. (They’re not really his words, but let’s pretend they are—after all, we’re talking about fiction here.)

do whatever blows your skirt up

From Traditionally Published to Self-Published

From Traditionally Published to Self-Published

The business of writing and selling a book is easier and harder than ever.

Self-publishing is accessible to anyone now, but getting the job done well can be a crazy challenge in many ways. I was a traditionally published author and illustrator when I decided to self-publish. It nearly ripped my brain to shreds trying to jump over the hurdles I encountered.

How I ended up self-publishing . . .

While freelancing as an illustrator, I started writing short stories as a creative outlet. This led pretty quickly to a practice novel—which, being my first attempt, sucked, but it was a great learning experience. In the meantime, a publisher I was illustrating for asked me to write a how-to book. So my career shifted slightly to include professional writing.

I found my voice in my second novel. Skip to my third novel and now I have an agent. But publishing was in the middle of a huge industry change. The advantages of being traditionally published were quickly being outweighed by the advantages of self-publishing—unless your name was Stephen King or Patricia Cornwell. I regrouped and got serious about publishing my own books.

Creating the ebook.

I thought, This is going to be easy. Boy was I wrong. I was used to working with a whole publishing team, and I was suddenly faced with having to do everything myself. The first task, after gobs of rewrites and paranoid edits, was learning to properly format an ebook.

It was a nightmare of epic proportions and serious brain-shredding.

Just trying to get a solid overview of the whole shebang in the scattered, disconnected book-publishing help section on Amazon scrambled my brain, and sent me scouring the Internet for clearer, straight-to-the-point information that didn’t leave out crucial bits. Of course, this was also like slogging through mud in torrential rain, and I was lost in rabbit hole after rabbit hole, trying this and then that, discarding it all as inferior, getting blown off by the Amazon support team, and frustrated with no clear path in sight.

I spent months researching ways to properly format with Word, freeware, apps, code, add-ons, advice from every YouTube author dishing it out, and something always went wrong. I’d upload a ms. to Amazon KDP, and on some device the formatting was lost, messed up, or my book just looked like crap.

(It must be noted at this point that I am a perfectionist and I don’t give up dammit. Being an artist, I want things to look the way I want things to look, down to every detail. But I am also an entrepreneur/freelancer and I know the value of cutting losses and compromise. Hence, a sometimes grisly conflict of interest.)

After months of agony, I stumbled upon some luck.

I finally found a YouTuber, Joanna Penn, who interviewed Brad Andalman, one of the two creators (both Brads) of Vellum, an ebook and print book formatting app. I will do another blog post in more detail on the awesomeness of Vellum, but now just let me say, What a relief! And, Wow! And, My formatting troubles were over.

(Just one note on Vellum: It’s for Mac only. Trust me, it’s worth buying a used Mac just to take advantage of this stellar app.)

Vellum not only solved all my ebook formatting issues, it solved a number of other problems as well, such as, Amazon’s iffy book-preview feature, and, how to create the print version. The Brads really know what they’re doing.

That solved, now what?

Well, the thing no artist wants to do: market. So I entered my first self-published novel, How to Rate a Soulmate, in two literary contests as part of my newbie-self-published-author marketing plan. One yielded a really cool 5-star review based on an unpublished draft, and the other a first-place win in the romance genre with the finished print version. 😀

I’m still slogging through effective marketing strategies, much in the same way I slogged through formatting options: learning curves up the wazoo; shredded brain.

And so the journey continues.

Read the first chapter of How to Rate a Soulmate free, here.

Buy it here.

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